Staff

Here’s your updated staff roster with full names—still grounded, flavorful, and perfect for your middle school mystery setting:

🍽️ Lunch Lady Bethel-Ann Griggs
Gruff but oddly poetic. Serves mystery meat with cryptic commentary like “This stew’s seen more than you have.” Rumored to have worked at the school longer than anyone can remember.
📐 Ms. Clarissa Chen, Math Teacher
Sharp-tongued and always suspicious. Her classroom is silent, her tests brutal, and her detentions legendary. Students say she grades with a ruler and a grudge.
🧹 Rudy Morales, Janitor
Cool, quiet, and weirdly wise. Knows every shortcut, every squeaky tile, and every kid’s favorite hiding spot. Always seems to be exactly where he’s needed.
👨‍🏫 Mr. Kenneth “Kenny” Klemens, Principal
Cheerfully clueless. Thinks everything is “just a phase” and insists the vending machine is “quirky, not broken.” Loves pep rallies, hates paperwork.
📚 Mr. Ezra Bloom, English Teacher
Laid-back and spacey. Quotes poetry no one’s heard of, forgets what day it is, and sometimes teaches the wrong book. Students find him oddly comforting.
📖 Ms. Deirdre Finch, History Teacher
Obsessed with local trivia and school lore. Keeps a drawer full of old yearbooks and detention slips. Loves pop quizzes and historical reenactments.
🏃 Coach Lexi and Coach Trent, Gym Teachers
Always in pairs. Attractive, intense, and cardio-obsessed. Their whistle means pain. They make you run laps “for character,” and they never seem to sweat.